we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
