I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize