you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
