i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
