WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
