please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm like, not good at living.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
