A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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