Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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