# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize