Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
