we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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