Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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