so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
