there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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