i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize