Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm getting married
To pizza
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
