it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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