the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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