It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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