at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
