The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
