we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize