im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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