Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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