If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
