This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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