FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
