how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
