butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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