He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
