Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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