Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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