Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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