Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
