Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
