so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize