What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
