He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
