It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
