i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
