He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
