the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Girls should come with a carfax report
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
