Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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