My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
