so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Small penises have feelings too.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
