found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
