Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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