Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
