i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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