ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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