It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
