I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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