...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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