I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
