Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER