lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
what food is Colorado known for?