he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
