So drunk its hurt
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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