ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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