its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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