why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
