Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
