she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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